Never
could we have imagined that the boy to which we were giving a hand up would end
up paying it forward to our special needs son.
It all
started at the beginning of the school year in our sophomore daughter’s English
3 class. Meredith filled our ears about the intriguing, hilarious, exchange
students that were her classmates, and one in particular, Edvard from Ukraine,
had become a close friend within a short window of time. Due to circumstances
beyond his control, Edvard needed a different place to call his American home
for the rest of the school year – and fast. Meredith came home with puppy dog
eyes and lip rolled down, begging that we be his host family. Um, ahem. No.
However,
the fatal mistake was when we as a family agreed to “pray about it and have
Edvard over for dinner one evening.” The next week, he came to live in the
Griffin house.
Since
our oldest boy, Jonathan, has Down syndrome and doesn’t always adjust well to
change, we had some concerns about how he might respond to Edvard and how our
Ukranian guest might respond to him! Early on, it was difficult for the two
boys to communicate due to Jonathan’s disability, but I noticed that very
quickly, the boys began to bond – with words and without. They came up with
their own private jokes and rehearsed them on a daily basis. Always aware of
his older “little brother”, Edvard engaged Jonathan’s world in a way that words
on this page cannot adequately convey. My special little guy adored this tall,
blonde boy from Ukraine. He wanted to be just like him. When Edvard would
return from lifting weights at the gym, Jonathan could be seen flexing his own
muscles in front of the full length mirror. If Edvard crossed his legs, so did
Jonathan. If Edvard rested his arm on the back of the chair, so did Jonathan.
And so it went. Jonathan even learned to swish his Bieber-like hair. Just like
his big brother did.
Our
Jonathan has two stellar sisters who brighten his world on a daily basis! They take him places, dote over him, and are
immensely patient with him. But there was just something about having a
brother…as our Ukranian exchange son was learning to navigate America, he was
also teaching our biological son how to navigate life.
Edvard
was with us for just over 6 months. One
hundred ninety four days of adventure, laughs, inside jokes, exchanges of
cultural richness and deep-rooted love. The middle of last month, all 5
Griffins and one honorary Ukranian Griffin made our way to the airport and did
the ugly cry as we let go of the boy/man who came across the world and stole
our hearts. Not a day has passed since Edvard’s departure that Jonathan hasn’t
grieved, but we are learning to make Skype and Facebook our new best friends
and walking the tight rope of holding on and letting go all at the same
time. Seeing the joy on his mom’s face
as she is now reunited with her beloved makes it a little easier to swallow,
too.
Thank
you, Edvard, for bringing your love into our home and touching Jonathan’s life
in a spot not yet cultivated. We are all better because of you and claiming the
words of one of my favorite authors, Ann Voskamp. “Don’t grieve that it’s gone.
Wonder that is was. Laugh that you lived and dance that you dared. Inhale that
it happened and it was grace.”
Melodie
Griffin is a native of the Pee Dee who now resides with her husband and 3
children in the Midlands of South Carolina. A popular speaker, musician, writer, and private
music instructor, Melodie does laundry in her spare time. Find her at www.melodiegriffin.com to learn more or to invite her
to inspire attendees at your next event.
