Sittin' Pretty

“…for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.” Philippians 4:11b

The Apostle Paul said it – not me. I wouldn’t dare say that I have fully and completely learned this lesson, but I am certainly a work in process.

“Whatever state I am in” has changed several times over the last many years. Let’s see. There was South Carolina, North Carolina, Louisiana, then back to good ‘ole South Carolina. While I am fairly sure that the apostle Paul was not referring to a geographical state in which to be content, it is no secret that moving around can be tough. There’s a new house, new license plate, new friends, new school, new church, new grocery store, new bank, and new names to try to remember. Lots of new.

Each time the address has changed on my driver’s license, I have found the intense need to hang onto God for dear life. That’s not a bad thing. Whether searching for the laundry detergent aisle or that new best pal, God was quietly there assuring me with His peace. Psalm 121:5 says that the Lord stands BESIDE you. Can’t you just picture God standing in line with me at the DMV? What a thought!

I’ve had other addresses, too, that I didn’t mention yet. Maybe you’ve lived there once or twice yourself. I recall the neighborhoods of Surprise, Disappointment, and Stress. Oh, and let’s not forget the subdivision of Grief, Betrayal and Discomfort either. Those were doozies! How vividly I remember sitting on the front porch of those emotions and wondering where my fairy tale life had gone – silently asking God the questions that He knew were running around in my heart. “What just happened? Why? How? What now?” The numb throbbing was loud in my ears. The fear of the future ever present…but so was God’s unmistakable peace. People would ask, “How ARE you – really?” And I could honestly answer that I was pushing through with God’s grace and strength – really.

Then again, I have lived in some swank sectors, too. The view was incredible from the neighborhood of Maturity, Growth, and Fulfillment! And the birds were always singing when I made my home in Joy, Exhilaration, and Delight. Those places are my favorite. But the key is somehow to find the serenity and peace God gives no matter WHERE He has placed me for the time being. I don’t seem to find that in a Hershey bar (though it never hurt). No, I find my focus when I spend time reading the words God spoke, when I speak to Him and pour out the cares of my heart, and those delicious times I spend talking about Him over coffee or lunch with a friend. (We call that “soul slushing.”)

I will leave you with a more complete section of Paul’s writings from Philippians 4:11-12, and I will whisper a prayer that you and I can continue to experience more and more of the contentment that comes from knowing the lush love of an extravagant Savior – regardless of the current state in which we find ourselves.

“…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (NIV)

Moving Away and Moving Forward

- as published in SHE! July 2009

Last summer, we packed up our earthly goodies into multitudes of big, brown boxes and then watched as the moving truck slowly pulled away with all of our belongings. Filled to the brim with a mishmash of emotions, we were certainly excited about all the new spaces and faces to come! However, our excitement slowly faded to fear and apprehension as we began to settle into our new abode. This adjustment to our new surroundings was going to be harder than we thought! I am far from a control freak, but as the “Chief Operating Officer of all things domestic” in the Griffin household, I knew that it would fall to me to take the bull by the horns and help my little brood acclimate to their new world.

Where to start? There were millions of boxes to unpack, cabinets to line, pictures to hang, agencies to call, and Oreos to eat – but just what was the order of priorities? This family needed a plan! The first biggie on the list of “to do’s” was to find a place of worship. Some churches we visited were high energy, some more reserved. Some were well organized, while some were more chaotic. We even attended one place where the praise band didn’t wear shoes. Lack of variety was not an issue. We finally found a place where our family “fit” and could grow – with shoes on, nonetheless, but it took a while for us to really feel like a part of what was happening. People were so warm and welcoming, but each Sunday as we re-convened in the family van, the theme was the same. It really is possible to feel a little lonely, even in a large group of people. We longed to “know” and “be known.” In my quest to help get us plugged into this new church family, I contacted each of my kids’ ministers and asked how they might best serve in their area (notice I didn’t say how they could best BE served). The ministers were thrilled to receive the offer for help! My middle schooler is now utilized in children’s worship time as a “referee” with a cool striped shirt to display her authority! Having a place to serve turned out to be a big piece of the puzzle for each of us.

Finding new friendships was high on the priority list. Ugh. Who knew that this would be such a task? Our family is a collection of social butterflies – the more friends the merrier! But goodness gracious, we went through play dates like Imelda Marcos went through shoes! The kids had fun with their new acquaintances, but I could see the disappointment in their little eyes after their friend would leave. They missed their OLD friends! You know, the ones where you can be together and not say a word, and it’s okay? Or you laugh at all the same stuff, and have lots of stories and memories to share? That kind. Well, first of all – “that kind” takes time. No way around it. But I also told my kids that finding new friends was like trying on shoes. “They won’t all fit, so sometimes you have to try on lots of pairs til you find some that are comfortable.” We girls always get shoe analogies. Our youngest kid ended up being chosen to play on a travel softball team this summer. She told me just the other day, “Mom – the only reason I’m playing on this team is ‘cause of all my friends.” Listen: I don’t care why she’s playing, I’m just glad she’s making friends!

By far, the biggest hurdle in our move was found in the educational world. Many of you know that our oldest child has Down Syndrome. He settled in to his new learning environment without so much as a look back at Mom. This, my friends, is a new twist. Usually, Mommy walks back to her car on the first day of school, wiping tears onto her sleeve and begging God to help him have a good year. This year, I didn’t need to use my legs to get me back to my vehicle. I simply floated, knowing that Jonathan was going to have a phenomenal year. My youngest daughter transitioned beautifully. She had only known the “private school” world up until now, but settled into a precious neighborhood school with a teacher that was simply sent from above. Things didn’t go so smoothly for my precious middle school daughter. First of all, just being a middle school girl is hard enough all by itself – but to move to a new place, cross the threshold from elementary to middle school, AND transition from private to public all at once? Bring out the haz-mat suits. We had a full-fledged disaster on our hands. The first 3 months of school had me eating antacids like they were candy. Long, long story short – I ended up being TEACHER to my 6th grade daughter. I have many treasured friends who have chosen to educate their children at home, but to be bluntly honest with you, I never thought I was “home school material”. But when our kids are in despair, we will do just about ANYthing to save them, won’t we?

Yes, it has been quite the year of adjustments – and I’m just about ready for some “comfortable and familiar”, thank you very much. It has been hard, grueling work at times, but as we settle in and find soft places to land, I can honestly say that it has been worth it! 2 Corinthians 12:9 has proven true! “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” That, and a whole lot of Oreos have been just what I needed to survive.